As reported in the introduction, 93% of those surveyed reported attending church at least once a month. This section explores the perspectives Millennials hold towards church: the joys and challenges, reasons for changing congregations or becoming de-churched, regional differences, and experiences in church leadership.

Millennial values and church engagement

Much has been written in the past about Millennials’ values as young people and emerging adults. Individualism, authenticity, tolerance, collaboration, relationality, and inclusivity were prominent. Duty and religiosity were not, and they tended only to engage with church if it held personal significance.^[1] Survey participants were therefore asked: “Overall, how does your wider church community impact your faith?”

For Millennials, church attendance must feel worthwhile for them to invest their time in it.

The results were telling: 80% felt very or somewhat positive about their church, confirming that for Millennials, church attendance must feel worthwhile for them to invest their time in it. However, there were notable variations. 36% of women and 52% of men described the impact as ‘very positive’ while 44% of women and 28% of men were ‘somewhat positive’. This suggests women are more likely to stay in churches where they are not entirely satisfied, most likely held by relational connection or their children. Other nuances included British recent relocators clearly missing their previous churches –59% were only ‘somewhat positive’ about their current congregation. Conversely, international newcomers, both recent and long-term, were the most enthusiastic, with over half rating their church’s impact as ‘very positive’. In a foreign context, their congregations were clearly a lifeline.

The joys and challenges of church

Most of the nearly 300 participants had a longstanding relationship with church, many attending for most of their lives. With only 12% living in their birthplace, the majority had attended several churches due to relocation. Their experiences ranged from great enthusiasm – some described church as “our whole world” – to strong criticism, a few having left altogether. Most, however, adopted a pragmatic view, recognising both the benefits and challenges of church life. Their reflections centred on three primary themes: worship practices and mission, church structures, plus relationality and community.

Worship practices and mission

Both in extended survey responses and interviews, participants spoke about preaching and worship in their churches. Some praised the quality of preaching, while others cited poor, repetitive, or superficial Bible teaching as a reason for changing churches. Many desired “meatier” teaching and sermons that were “less like lectures” but addressed real-life issues, with calls for greater discipleship, evangelism, and a more radical ethos. Regarding worship, although expectations were not for perfection, there was a baseline of quality necessary for meaningful engagement. As they matured, some had moved from attending large, slickly produced services to smaller, more “authentic” gatherings. However, uninspiring music and dull or superficial teaching, especially when they affected their children, remained significant drawbacks.

A number also spoke about their desire for the church to engage meaningfully with the local community. That might be in evangelism or social action but, while significant numbers were enthusiastic about what their church was doing, others – from a wide variety of types of church – expressed frustration at the insular attitude of the congregation. They wanted to be part of a congregation focused on making a difference to the surrounding area.

Church structures

Leadership and change. More structural aspects of church life were largely only mentioned when perceived as problematic. The most frequent of those was leadership. While some described their appreciation of supportive and encouraging leaders, others criticised unaccountable or directive leadership styles which clashed with their collaborative values. Mismanagement of pastoral issues, finances, and discipline were cited as problematic, along with favouritism and unrealistic demands or expectations being placed on their time. Participants expressed frustration over unresolved conflict within congregations, inflexible church structures, and an unwillingness to adapt among leadership or older congregants. This was particularly in regard to the treatment of LGBTQIA+ people, attitudes toward women’s leadership, and a lack of social concern for the poor.

Opportunities for participation. Active participation was important, with 75% of interviewees involved in some form of service. For many, especially men, this was a key way to express their faith. However, balancing meaningful involvement and avoiding burnout was necessary. In large churches, some felt surplus to requirements while, in smaller congregations, they described both the reluctance of older members to share responsibility or their complete withdrawal, leaving Millennials carrying the load. While some appreciated not being pressured, others felt valued only for their skills, not as individuals, or regretted being unable to serve as they wished. Overall, the desire was to make a meaningful, sustainable contribution.

Relationality and community

Church as a community was paramount, especially as a place to belong after the instability of emerging adulthood.

Above all, church as a community was paramount, especially as a place to belong after the instability of emerging adulthood. One said, “I’m part of a community, I have a place in the world.” Another, “I belong, I’m part of something.” For many, church was described as ‘home’ and ‘family’, particularly for those distant from their birth families or without one of their own. “Church is my home. I care about the people and belong to them.” “Things are tough with my family, church people – they’re my new family, I’d be lost without them.” The warmth of welcome, hospitality, and encouragement were deeply valued, or their absence keenly felt.

Peers and diversity. Having peers in the congregation was important, especially for younger Millennials and parents. Some older participants had come to terms with the lack of peers, forming Christian friendships elsewhere. Others struggled with cliques or superficial relationships, but many cherished the diversity within their churches, appreciating socio-economic and multicultural variation – or lamenting its absence. Newer Nigerian members, for example, were reported as bringing vibrancy and enthusiasm, which was celebrated. One enthused, “I’ve got African friends, Chinese friends. I would never have had them, but coming to church I’ve realised there’s no such thing as colour – you’re just a brother or sister!”

“Peers are for empathy, elders are for wisdom.”

Most common was gratitude for relationships with older Christians. Participants valued their wisdom, hospitality and pastoral care. They were role models for the spiritual resilience and maturity that participants aspired to. Those with mentors were grateful; others regretted not having such guidance. As one put it, “Peers are for empathy, elders are for wisdom.” International Millennials often found particular comfort in being ‘adopted’ by older believers. For example,

“They adopted us like their children. I found it very comforting. Although I’m away from my family God gave me another family. They worry about my marriage, my study, my work. I feel safe, I feel loved. I belong.”

Conversely, one of the most frequent complaints was about older Christians who were cliquey, disillusioned, or apathetic. One said, “Honestly, I have struggled to find many people of the generation older (Gen-X) who seem to have lived out active faith.” Another described their frustration at spiritual immaturity. “I feel like I’m mentoring the older people who have been Christians much longer than me!” In traditional churches, cultural clashes about the purpose and mission of church could be exhausting for Millennials keen to shift the focus outward.

Inclusion of children. Given their concern for their children’s faith, churches which supported that were appreciated. Good children’s and youth work were a draw, even to churches that were not their theological or stylistic preference. Mutual support from parent peers was helpful, but so was the love shown by older congregants, particularly when biological family were geographically remote. Although she couldn’t imagine it as a long-term situation. Liis was grateful for a small, elderly congregation in her local village church running Sunday school just for her children. “They adore the kids and the kids love it!” Morgan also described her relief at finding a church that was flexible in catering for the additional needs of her children. She had felt forced to leave one congregation but was deeply encouraged to have found a place she felt might not just enable them to attend but help them develop their own faith.

Smaller groups. Midweek small groups were often cited as vital for ongoing faith development, providing opportunities for honesty, authentic relationships and “being known.” Likewise, single-sex ministries, which several reported as making sharing personal challenges easier. Online groups were valued for their accessibility, especially for parents and those unable to leave their homes.

While the content of meetings and the opportunity to contribute mattered to Millennial Christians, community was most crucial: with peers and with a wide range of other believers, and particularly with elders from whom they could learn and with whom they could walk out their faith in relationship.

Changing church

Historically, Millennials have been described as trans-denominational.^[2] This project found that many move freely not just between congregations but between types of church, a third of survey and three quarters of interviewees having done so. Although most had theological or stylistic boundaries they were unwilling to cross, participants reported a tendency to focus on similarities rather than differences, and were prepared to tolerate some doctrines they didn’t agree with. Previous research illustrated that exposure to a range of Christian resources often resulted in eclectic theological views which, combined with frequent relocation, meant changing church, and even tradition, was unremarkable.^[3] However, relational commitment to church community (as discussed above) makes leaving it a socially and spiritually disruptive process that most do not undertake lightly.

Reasons for change

Two thirds of interviewees had changed churches, often due to relocation for work or marriage. Church division was a primary factor for a few, alongside value clashes, personal conflicts, and relational breakdowns – particularly involving leadership or institutions. “Church is a bit of a disastrous bonfire at the moment!” was how one put it. Their own evolving theology often played a part, creating frustration which, eventually, they were unable to tolerate. Most, but not all, had found an alternative congregation; others formed small independent communities with like-minded Christians.

Two contrasting patterns emerged. Some left large churches they had previously enjoyed as young adults, for smaller, more family-oriented congregations, seeking deeper relationships, opportunities to serve, and more authentic worship and discipleship. Theresa said, “Our new church has people from really broken backgrounds. I like that it’s a place that welcomes them. It feels more like Jesus. It’s not easy, but that’s a good thing.” Others moved in the opposite direction. Exhausted or disillusioned, they were drawn to larger, more dynamic churches for peer connections and enhanced resources – especially around worship, children and youth ministry.

Millennials are sometimes stereotyped as ‘snowflakes’ – quick to leave unsatisfying situations, including churches.^[4] However, those interviewed had taken a considerable amount of time before making such decisions. It was extremely disruptive, and they viewed it as a serious step only undertaken for their own or their children’s spiritual wellbeing. One summarised, “Church hunting is horrendous!”

Impact of the COVID pandemic

Leaving a church is rarely easy. It can feel disloyal, and it almost always severs relationships. However, a number described how the disruption of the COVID pandemic had caused them to re-evaluate their church involvement. Some described close friends moving away, their own return or relocation to the region, or re-evaluating their entire network of relationships. Marie explained how, after a decade in one congregation, she and her husband had decided to leave because they had no meaningful relationships. The pandemic “gave us a reason not to go back, and so we looked for somewhere else.” Some cited their church’s response to the pandemic as a reason for leaving, including disagreements over lockdown measures or frustration with members embracing conspiracy theories. In some instances, small congregations had simply disintegrated.

The de-churched

Few de-churched Millennials participated in the project, though many are presumed to exist in the region.^[5] Those who did engage fell into three groups:

• Those hurt or angered by organised religion, yet still retaining some faith in Jesus
• Those seeking a church that aligned with their values but unable to find one in their (often smaller) local community, relying instead on informal spiritual networks
• Those taking a break or “sabbatical” from church in order to recover from difficulties, with the intention of returning in future.

Regional variation

The Northeast is a diverse region, shaping Millennial church experiences in various ways. While national church attendance declined by 7.5% between 2012 and 2020, the impact in the Northeast was greater – County Durham saw a 26% decrease, Darlington 20%, Gateshead and Sunderland nearly 18%, and the Tees Valley about 16%. ^[6] However, between 1980 and 2015, at least 125 new charismatic and Pentecostal churches were planted in the region and more recently there have been Anglican churches planted in larger conurbations. ^[7]

Findings were that Millennial experience varies greatly depending on location and tradition. Rural and smaller communities tend to have fewer, and more traditional, churches, often with older congregations. These can be either welcoming or hostile, but usually offer little in terms of peer support or community for younger adults and families. Some in these areas maintained their faith through online resources rather than church.

In stable, local populations, churches are often close-knit, with multiple generations from the same families. Newcomers described being welcomed but finding it hard to move beyond superficial relationships. Within the wider community some experienced bewilderment as to why they were not living near their ‘mam’. One reflected, “People here are not in the habit of creating space in order to welcome new people because that doesn’t often happen.” Some participants intentionally built relationships with the parents of their children’s friends, but becoming an established part of the community, and church, was a long process and they felt like perpetual outsiders. “We basically pray that someone will turn up at Church who we could become really good friends with.”

Locals faced their own challenges, such as the trauma of leaving longstanding family churches or finding limited alternatives. Some, however, held deep affection for their childhood church and were among the few from their youth group still practising, often now in leadership roles.

In more populous areas, a wider range of churches exist and some Millennials travel significant distances to attend a church that suits them there, rather than going to a local one. These areas typically have more young people moving in and out – students, professionals, refugees, and asylum seekers – making sustained community harder to build. Even in those which emphasised hospitality, newcomers still struggled to form deep relationships in established communities of busy people. Inevitably, they gravitated towards people like themselves. For example, despite deliberately attending a multicultural congregation, Bukola’s closest friends were other Nigerian women. Small groups helped, but initial friendliness did not always translate into deeper hospitality or support. Tami described little beyond “chat on a Sunday while we’re all chasing children around”.

Millennials as church leaders

An important aspect is the experience of Millennials in church leadership. The past few years have been challenging for church leaders in general, and for less experienced Millennials, these challenges are even more acute. Just under half (46%) of survey respondents had some form of responsibility within their church, with a good number identifying as ordained or in leadership roles. Of those interviewed, six had or were holding leadership positions, and another was married to a leader.

While most described a passion for the gospel, their outlooks on ministry ranged from positive to despairing. Although many were experienced, few had formal theological training. Two had been involved in church plants neither of which ended well. Most expressed a deep affection for their congregations and the disadvantaged communities they served. One leader was explicit in praying for “Revival for this place; it’s going to take God to change things round here!” Pastoral care, preaching, youth work, and social action were roles they relished, confident in their calling. However, there were significant challenges.

Key challenges for Millennial leaders

Personal wellbeing: Like their peers, Millennial leaders are often juggling parenthood with ministry and sometimes other employment too. Some described feeling pressure regarding their children’s faith and their desire to be present, supportive parents, not wanting their children to resent being ‘pastor’s kids’. Alternatively, older congregations had heteronormative expectations of them. One single minister described regularly being asked, “Where’s your wife then?”

Again, like their peers, they described friends leaving, either the region, church or the faith altogether. Social isolation and lack of friendship were experienced by some, due to their own reluctance to share personal information or congregants’ hesitancy to befriend their leaders. For others, conflict with friends over church matters had been deeply painful. Several described how mental health struggles, including anxiety and post-natal depression had been kept secret from congregations. They also spoke about overwhelming busyness and sense of responsibility. The need was overwhelming and relentless, learning boundaries was difficult, and finding time for their own spiritual life was challenging.

Pastoral challenges: Several described how the weight of responsibility, particularly given the scale of the need, with vulnerable people and limited resources, was overwhelming. A shortage of volunteers and a lack of congregational commitment sometimes added to the strain. Some reported frustration with passivity, pettiness, conflict and resistance to change in congregations. One simply said, “The congregation are draining all the life and joy out of me.” The pandemic and current events had often heightened these challenges, with younger leaders struggling to manage older congregants radicalised by conspiracy theories or divisive online content. These had led to unhelpful digital conversations among congregants and sometimes boiled over into disruptive behaviour they struggled to manage.

Conflicts with superiors: Finally, frustrations with older leaders or denominational structures were common. Some felt embarrassment over denominational reputations or faced direct doctrinal conflicts. Others felt unsupported or overburdened by senior leaders. One reported, “They were so relieved I was there and offering [to help], they dumped everything on me!” Navigating issues of sexuality, racial justice, and inclusivity involved personal and professional tensions, especially for women, who also contended with a lack of respect, fewer opportunities, and sometimes downright rejection.

Overall

For the most part, participants were committed believers who were realistic rather than idealistic about church. Although they recognised both the joys and challenges, most had only left or changed church after considerable deliberation, and at personal cost. They wanted to be part of a meaningful faith community that aligned with their values, not just to receive and sustain their personal faith, but also to contribute to its life and ministry. Although doctrine, worship and teaching matter, participants were often willing to be flexible on those. What mattered most was community, the feel of the church. At a point where there are few opportunities to ‘belong’ in British society, the warmth and hospitality of a church community provide the haven many Millennials are seeking. Particularly after the turbulence of their ‘emerging adulthood’ or in the light of geographical distance from family and friends, many wanted church to feel like ‘home’: somewhere they – and their children – were known and valued. Of course, some were hurt or angry, particularly over leadership issues and internal conflicts, but many expressed appreciation for diverse congregations, appropriate opportunities to serve, and churches that were outward looking – wanting to bring transformation to the communities around them.

Reflection and discussion

These will not all be appropriate in every context, but are designed to begin helpful conversation after reading Section 5.

• How far does this section ring true in your view? What strikes you as missing or inaccurate in the findings?
• What do you think the experiences of people moving to this part of the Northeast are?
• What are your suggestions for how might we encourage a culture of hospitality that crosses generations, ethnic, and socioeconomic boundaries in our church community?
• How might we extend a generous welcome and departure, particularly towards those who are relocating in their thirties or coming from overseas?
• In your view, what would a congregation in which everyone was enabled to make appropriate contributions look like? How might we start moving towards that?

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Footnotes

[1] Ruth Perrin, Changing Shape; The Faith Lives of Millennials (London: SCM, 2020),7-9

[2] Ruth Perrin, Changing Shape; The Faith Lives of Millennials (London: SCM, 2020),18-19

[3] Ruth Perrin, The Bible Reading of Young Evangelicals (London: SPCK, 2017), 226-7

[4] Jean Twenge, Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans are more Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More Miserable Than Ever Before (NY: Atria books 2014), Sylvia Collins Mayo et al, Making Sense of Generation Y: The Worldview of 15-25 year olds (London: Church house publishing, 2010)

[5] Steve Aisthorpe, The Invisible church: Learning from the Experiences of Churchless Christians (Edinburgh: Saint Andrew Press, 2016)

[6] Peter Brierley, Church Statistics No 4 (2021)

[7] David Goodhew and Rob Barward-Symmons, New Churches in the North East Report (2015)

Photo by Andrii Solok on Unsplash